W.C. Fields

W.C. Fields

Biography

Author Profession: Biographies & Memoirs, Humor And Comedy, Mystery
Born: January 29, 1880
Died: December 25, 1946
Birth Sign: Aquarius

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W.C. Fields quotes

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia.

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

I'd like to see Paris before I die... Philadelphia will do.

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

My definition of a friend is somebody who adores you even though they know the things you're most ashamed of. Jodie Foster

One of the luckiest things that can happen to you in life is, I think, to have a happy childhood. Agatha Christie

I have always loved cashmere and knitwear is the first thing I'm drawn to when shopping - even if I don't need any. Claudia Schiffer

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