A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
Never above you. Never below you. Always beside you.
The only ones who like Milton Berle are his mother - and the public.
She's been on more laps than a napkin.
I usually get my stuff from people who promised somebody else that they would keep it a secret.
Remember that nobody will ever get ahead of you as long as he is kicking you in the seat of the pants.
I never lost a friend I wanted to keep.
The same thing happened today that happened yesterday, only to different people.
The best way to get along is never to forgive an enemy or forget a friend.
Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.
An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery.
Today's gossip is tomorrow's headline.
We must not indulge in unfavorable views of mankind, since by doing it we make bad men believe they are no worse than others, and we teach the good that they are good in vain.
Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation.
Nothing recedes like success.
A pessimist is one who builds dungeons in the air.
Broadway is a main artery of New York life - the hardened artery.
Too many people expect wonders from democracy, when the most wonderful thing of all is just having it.
Hollywood is where they shoot too many pictures and not enough actors.