Bad officials are the ones elected by good citizens who do not vote.
Love is the emotion that a woman feels always for a poodle dog and sometimes for a man.
The path of sound credence is through the thick forest of skepticism.
Love demands infinitely less than friendship.
Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness.
What passes for woman's intuition is often nothing more than man's transparency.
Patriotism is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles.
Love is an emotion experienced by the many and enjoyed by the few.
Beauty makes idiots sad and wise men merry.
I drink to make other people interesting.
No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched.
Common sense, in so far as it exists, is all for the bourgeoisie. Nonsense is the privilege of the aristocracy. The worries of the world are for the common people.
Criticism is the windows and chandeliers of art: it illuminates the enveloping darkness in which art might otherwise rest only vaguely discernible, and perhaps altogether unseen.
A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.
An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out.
I know many married men, I even know a few happily married men, but I don't know one who wouldn't fall down the first open coal hole running after the first pretty girl who gave him a wink.
A life spent in constant labor is a life wasted, save a man be such a fool as to regard a fulsome obituary notice as ample reward.
Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor.
It is also said of me that I now and then contradict myself. Yes, I improve wonderfully as time goes on.
Whenever a man encounters a woman in a mood he doesn't understand, he wants to know if she's tired.