Andy Rooney

Andy Rooney


Author Profession: Nonfiction, Humor edit data
Born: January 14, 1919
Died: November 04, 2011
Birth Sign: Capricorn


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Andy Rooney quotes

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly.

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.

It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.

We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.

The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.

Elephants and grandchildren never forget.

Writers don't retire. I will always be a writer.

Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.

I obviously have a knack for getting on paper what a lot of people have thought and didn't realize they thought. And they say, 'Hey, yeah!' And they like that.

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