Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Women in love are less ashamed than men. They have less to be ashamed of.
Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means, as commonly interpreted, the right to vote for the man of another man's choice, and is highly prized.
There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
Doubt is the father of invention.
Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.
Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
When you doubt, abstain.
Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.