- Long-winded speaker at a charity luncheon, after finally finishing: "I am sorry, Mr. Toastmaster, that I went beyond the limit, but I left my watch at home."
- Will Rogers: "Don't you even have a pocket calendar?"
(11/04/1879 – 08/15/1935)
US humorist
| Born 08/14 | Born 08/15 | Born 08/16 | Birth Dates | |
| Died 08/14 | Died 08/15 | Died 08/16 | Death Dates |
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"Sunshine can burn you, food can poison you, words can condemn you, pictures can insult you; music cannot punish—only bless."
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| "We live with our archetypes, but can we live in them?" |  |
| "Start young. Throw your arms around ladies' knees. As you get older it will get more interesting." |
"If you buy my lamp, you won't need drugs."
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| Born 08/14 | Born 08/15 | Born 08/16 | Birth Dates | |
| Died 08/14 | Died 08/15 | Died 08/16 | Death Dates |