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"Satan himself can't save a woman who wears thirty-shilling corsets under a thirty-guinea costume."
Note: 21 Shillings = 1 Guinea, and a shilling might have been worth about 40 cents US in the 1800.
"Astronomy teaches the correct use of the sun and the planets."
"No sane local official who has hung up an empty stocking over the municipal fireplace, is going to shoot Santa Claus just before a hard Christmas."
Alfred Emanuel Smith
US Governor (NY)
"The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there."
L. P. Hartley
"The sky hides the night behind it, and shelters the people beneath from the horror that lies above."
US writer, composer, and traveler
"I thank you in advance for the great round of applause I'm about to get."
US singer, songwriter
"You can't get the Monkees back together as a rock'n'roll group. That would be like Raymond Burr opening up a law practice."
US singer, songwriter, videographer, White-Out heir
(Monkees, First National Band)
"The Monkees are like the mafia. You're in for life. Nobody gets out."
English actor, singer, dancer
"As far as I'm concerned, being any gender is a drag."
US singer, songwriter, poet
"Aren't the artists brave to go out and paint a sea as rough as that? I don't see how he kept his canvas dry."
"I get letters from women, and they say, 'I love your Roman nose.' If I weren't on TV and I walked past that same woman, she'd go, 'Did you see the beak on that guy?'"
"If God had intended for breasts to be seen, He wouldn't have created large woolen pullovers."
English singer, actor
"Newspapermen ask dumb questions. They look up at the sun and ask if it is shining."
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
"Go big or go home. Because it's true. What do you have to lose?"
"Just because I don't do bad things doesn't mean I don't have bad thoughts."
"It's like having a gangrenous arm. The only thing you can do is amputate it. Obviously you're gonna miss the arm, but if you don't cut it off you'll die."
(was married to Lana Turner, Ava Gardner, Evelyn Keyes, and five others)
, on leaving fame behind in 1954
"If you want to execute me, I'll bring my own f890ing rope."