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"If the best man's faults were written on his forehead, he would draw his hat over his eyes."
"Errors using inadequate data are much less than those using no data at all."
Voter: "I'd sooner vote for the devil."
John Wilkes: "And if your friend is not standing?"
"Chaos is the score upon which reality is written."
"In waking a tiger, use a long stick."
Chinese political leader
"The hair is real; it's the head that's fake."
US comic, actor, composer, writer
(other "Tonight Show" hosts: Paar, Carson, and Leno)
"Men who wear turtlenecks look like turtles."
"It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth after they inherit it."
"I'm dealing in rock'n'roll. I'm, like, I'm not a bona fide human being."
US music producer, handgun user
"'Finality is death. Perfection is finality. Nothing is perfect. There are lumps in it,' said the Philosopher."
"That's what we're all about; taking advantage of people."
US drummer (Metallica)
"I used to like to break into other people's houses and sit in their rooms. I found it very comforting to be in someone's empty house."
"The man who kills the animals today is the man who kills the people who get in his way tomorrow."
"Painless preaching is as good a term as any for what we do."
"All I know is, I don't do a lot of analysis. I know those words have to move me. I rely on the author. I don't want actors reasoning with me about 'motivation' and all that bull. All I want 'em to do is learn the goddamn lines and don't bump into each other."
(was married to Lauren Bacall)