Yesterday     Tomorrow

"I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies but not the madness of people."

Sir Isaac Newton
(12/25/1642 – 03/20/1727)
English scientist

"The door that nobody else will go in at, seems always to swing open widely for me."

Clara Barton
(12/25/1821 – 04/12/1912)
US humanitarian, Red Cross founder

"All the American women had purple noses and gray lips and their faces were chalk white from terrible powder. I recognized that the United States could be my life's work."

Helena Rubinstein
(12/25/1870 – 04/01/1965)
Polish-US cosmetician

"My audience was my life. What I did and how I did it, was all for my audience."

Cab Calloway
(12/25/1907 – 11/18/1994)
US bandleader, singer, drummer, entertainer

"When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?'"

Quentin Crisp
(12/25/1908 – 11/21/1999)
One of the Stately Old Homos of England

"It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper."

Rod Serling
(12/25/1924 – 06/28/1975)
US writer

"As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced."

Alan King
(12/25/1927 – 05/09/2004)
US comic

"I couldn't act, but I could swing through the trees."

Irish McCalla
(12/25/1929 – 02/01/2002)
US actor , on her role in Sheena, Queen of the Jungle

"Truth is stranger than fishin'."

Jimmy Buffett
(12/25/1946 – )
US singer, songwriter, parrothead head

"The son of a bitch is a ballet dancer."

W. C. Fields
(01/29/1880 – 12/25/1946)
US comic actor , on Charlie Chaplin

"You don't forget the movies, but you forget the details of them."

Sissy Spacek
(12/25/1949 – )
US actor

"As people do better, they start voting like Republicans—unless they have too much education and vote Democratic, which proves there can be too much of a good thing."

Karl Rove
(12/25/1950 – )
US political manipulator and general all-around slimeball

"Dying is easy, it's living that scares me to death."

Annie Lennox
(12/25/1954 – )
Scottish singer (Eurythmics)

"Bush doesn’t know the names of countries, he doesn’t know the names of foreign leaders, he can’t even find the Earth on a globe."

Doug Ferrari
(12/25/1956 – )
US comic

"In modelling, there is no point in trying to prove you have a brain, so why even bother? I'd sooner save the energy for something more meaningful."

Helena Christensen
(12/25/1968 – )
Danish model

"All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman, and a pretty girl."

Sir Charles Spencer Chaplin
(04/16/1889 – 12/25/1977)
English-US comic, actor, director

"In the 20s, you were a face. And that was enough. In the 30s, you also had to be a voice. And your voice had to match your face, if you can imagine that."

Joan Blondell
(08/30/1909 – 12/25/1979)
US actor (was married to Dick Powell, Michael Todd)

"Shirley—I love her, but her oars aren't touching the water these days."

Dean Martin
(06/07/1917 – 12/25/1995)
Italian-US singer, actor

"Disco is James Brown, hip-hop is James Brown, rap is James Brown; you know what I'm saying? You hear all the rappers, 90 percent of their music is me."

James Brown
(05/03/1928 – 12/25/2006)
US singer

"I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma."

Eartha Kitt
(01/17/1927 – 12/25/2008)
US singer, actor

Yesterday     Tomorrow