upon their backs to bite 'em;
and little fleas have lesser fleas,
and so ad infinitum."
- Jonathan Swift
(11/30/1667 – 10/19/1745)
English writer, on the invention of the microscope
| Born 11/29 | Born 11/30 | Born 12/01 | Birth Dates | |
| Died 11/29 | Died 11/30 | Died 12/01 | Death Dates |
"There have been many most excellent poets that have never versified, and now swarm many versifiers that need never answer to the name of poets."
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| "Big fleas have little fleas upon their backs to bite 'em; and little fleas have lesser fleas, and so ad infinitum."
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| "His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere." |  |
"As a rule, I am very careful to be shallow and conventional where depth and originality are wasted."
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"Life is fraught with opportunities to keep your mouth shut."
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"The piano is the social instrument par excellence. . . . drawing-room furniture, a sign of bourgeois prosperity, the most massive of the devices by which the young are tortured in the name of education and the grown-up in the name of entertainment."
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"He just sat there watching me, and then he walked right up and kissed me."
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"Tremendous amounts of talent are being lost to our society just because that talent wears a skirt."
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| "Even if Scrabble had been invented then, I wouldn't have wanted to play Scrabble, because the highest triple word score in the world would not have expressed how much I liked the game Natalie and I played every afternoon." |  |
"I am sure I will feel at home in the Bahamas. I've been involved in gambling in the Bahamas. I've been involved in gambling in Nevada and I've been involved in banking."
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"Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?"
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"If I can go from burglar for the government to talk show host, you can go from entertainer to congressman."
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"Avoid all needle drugs. The only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon."
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"Sex is boring unless you're doing it."
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"(Broadway critics) Frank Rich and John Simon are the syphilis and gonorrhea of the theatre."
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"I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted."
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"The biggest misconception people have about me is that I'm stupid."
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| "There's an old saying in Hollywood: It's not the length of your film, it's how you use it." |  |
"I feel like I'm one of the Simpsons."
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| Born 11/29 | Born 11/30 | Born 12/01 | Birth Dates | |
| Died 11/29 | Died 11/30 | Died 12/01 | Death Dates |