"Popular applause veers with the wind."
"Life is something like a trumpet. If you don't put anything in, you won't get anything out." William Christopher Handy
"Madam, don't you have any unexpressed thoughts?" George S. Kaufman
"Say anything you like, but don't say that I 'like' to work. That sounds like Mary Pickford, that prissy bitch. Just say I like to pinch babies and twist their legs. And get drunk." Mabel Normand
"Take the juice of two quarts of whisky..." Eddie Condon
"When suffering knocks at your door and you say there is no seat for him, he tells you not to worry because he has brought his own stool."
"Travel, instead of broadening the mind, often merely lengthens the conversation."
"I can't believe that out of 100,000 sperm, you were the quickest."
"I'm glad I don't have to face that guy every day. He has that look that few hitters have. I don't know if it's his stance, his eyes or what, but you can tell he means business." Dwight Gooden
"I'd just like to see a role for women where someone who isn't traditionally attractive is not portraying the best friend. You know, the character that only speaks in questions. 'Gee, are you gonna go out with him? Do you think I look fat?" Martha Carradine
"You're invited to tons of parties, and you'll wear these shoes and that dress, and it can be enticing, but I think it also sucks you dry. If you do it a little, sure, it's fun, but too much and you start to lose your footing." Maggie Gyllenhal