"Thank you, madam, the agony is abated."
"It takes a long time to become young." Pablo Picasso
"Singing is such an excellent thing, that I wish all people would sing." Richard E. Byrd
"Some people call me a ham—in my day it was called acting." Micheál MacLiammóir
"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion." Henry Steele Commager
"The doctor must have put my pacemaker in wrong. Every time my husband kisses me, the garage door goes up." Sarah Ophelia Colley Cannon
"Something has been said for sobriety but very little." John Berryman
"Try being my size and going into a public restroom." William John Bertanzetti
"I practice when I'm loaded." John Haley Sims
"I told him to take a picture of his testicles so he'd have something to remember them by if he ever took another shot like the last one." Bobby Knight
"While armchair travelers dream of going places, traveling armchairs dream of staying put."
"If you drag a hundred dollar bill through a trailer park, you never know what you'll find." James Carville
"The prospect of having naked ladies in the garden certainly awakes the interest of many a gardener, whose ardor I hope is at least partially satisfied by the horticultural version, Amaryllis belladonna."