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"No one is exempt from talking nonsense; the misfortune is to do it solemnly."
Michel de Montaigne
"I go about looking at horses and cattle. They eat grass, make love, work when they have to, bear their young. I am sick with envy of them."
"I remember coming across [George Bernard Shaw] at the Grand Canyon and finding him peevish, refusing to admire it, or even look at it properly. He was jealous of it."
J. B. Priestly
"It matters more what's in a woman's face than what's on it."
"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
Welsh writer (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory)
Dear Miss Manners: Please list some tactful ways of removing a man's saliva from your face.
Gentle Reader: Please list some decent ways of acquiring a man's saliva on your face.
Judith "Miss Manners" Martin
US advice columnist
"Those who talk don't know what is going on and those who know what is going on won't talk."
US press secretary
"Ideally, couples need three lives; one for him, one for her, and one for them together."
"You have to put on more faces to pretend who you are."
"Being on the road hasn't tarnished our viewpoints towards women. If anything, it's made us better in bed."
US guitarist (Megadeth)
"The way I feel about music is that there is no right and wrong. Only true and false."
US singer, songwriter
"A painter paints his pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence. We provide the music, and you provide the silence."
English-born US conductor
"Timing and arrogance are decisive factors in the successful use of talent."
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for."
"I've read about foreign policy and studiedI know the number of continents."
US Governor (AL)
, on his qualifications for the presidency