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"Learning is the dictionary, but sense the grammar, of science."
"There once was an old man of Lyme
who married three wives at a time
when asked, 'Why a third?'
he replied 'One's absurd!
and bigamy, sir, is a crime!'"
William Cosmo Monkhouse
"How horrible, fantastic, incredible, it is that we should be digging trenches and trying on gas-masks here because of a quarrel in a faraway country between people of whom we know nothing."
British PM (40)
(see other British PMs)
"I was x years old in the year x^2."
Augustus de Morgan
, when asked his age
"You can never lose anything that really belongs to you, and you can't keep that which belongs to someone else."
"A few, a few, too few for drums and yells,
May creep back, silent, to still village wells
Up half-known roads."
English soldier, writer
"A man without ethics is a wild beast loosed upon this world."
"I don't think I'd ever get anything more than a very small role. 'The Prince of the Cameos,' they might call me."
"A healthy adult male bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience."
"If God has cable, we are the 24-hour doofus network."
"You know you're drunk when you think that the cab fare is the time."
"Character builds slowly, but it can be torn down with incredible swiftness."
"Modern man thinks he loses somethingtimewhen he does not do things quickly; yet he does not know what to do with the time he gainsexcept kill it."
(died near his birthday)
"One's fantasy goes for a walk and returns with a bride."
"If I told you the tragedy parts, we'd all sit here and cry."
US singer, songwriter
, on his band, the Mamas and the Papas